


You know I know you want to be bad

by SummerLux1



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Crack Fic, I really love liam here wait for it, M/M, because I feel there needs to be more of them, harry is a policeman but doesn't really like it, he's a mayor, louis has a crush on him too oops, louis likes to steal sometimes, niall gets really weird when drunk or high, zayn has a crush on harry, zayn leads the club of badwoodsmen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 21:42:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8029855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerLux1/pseuds/SummerLux1
Summary: Louis thought he had pretty crazy life but things are taken to a whole new level when he meets very bored very handsome and very eccentric policeman that's up to every mischief. There's crack hidden in Louis' flat and it doesn't take long for his policeman to find out along with other not so indulgent people.





	You know I know you want to be bad

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my very first fanfic so please don't be too hard on it. Also excuse my grammar mistakes/typos. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!! Hope you'll enjoy.

Louis is abruptly woken up by a loud thud coming from the kitchen. He knows very well what's happening by now. He glances at the clock on his left just to be irritated even more by an ungodly hour that his flatmate decided to use for his precipitous disturbance of other perfectly normal people trying to sleep. He puts on his neon green ear plugs and the world is immediately a better place. Living with a Liam has never been easy. 

It's 10 am and Louis is standing in his zebra patterned pyjama pants in the kitchen, gaping. 

"What the fucking hell?! What are you doing Liam? Are you intending to supply a fucking army?! I always knew you're a proper fucking weirdo but you're taking it to a whole new level!!"

"Stop swearing Louis," says Liam's head that peaked through the kitchen doors. "You know I hate it." 

Louis feels like grabbing the nearest pan and smacking him.

"Seriously Liam, are you out of your fucking mind? Fuck." 

"What?! I just cooked a little bit." Liam pouts and frowns at Louis like it's his fault that he doesn't find a kitchen fully loaded by apple pies completely normal. Yeah. FUCKING PIES. Louis can't lierally even take another step further. 

"A bit?! A bit Liam?!? This is a fucking bit?? All people from this house would eat this for weeks and still complain they are fucking full. What are you going to do with all this shit?!?" 

"This is for our friends. They love food. Food is good. We're going to have a great evening. With amazing food." Liam blinks and his puppy eyes and slightly scared expresion make it difficult for Louis to be mad how he wants to be. 

Fucking Liam. 

"Liam," tries Louis again desperately and utterly unsuccessfuly to calm down. He takes a deep breath testing whether he's feeling any calmer. He's not. He takes another and then another one and another and another. 

Living with Liam Payne is like living with an alien who came to earth in order to help people. He's the nicest, most genuine person who cares about all living, unliving or dead creatures' feelings (but that's another story). There are times though (Louis calls them Liam's no brain moments) when he acts like a madman and there's literally no between. Nice Liam makes pancakes with nutella for both of them before they leave for work but Madman Liam makes hundred of pies in the middle od the night just to be found by his poor flatmate (Louis really isn't in the mood to call him friend right now) on Monday morning. Shortly said Madman Liam haunts Louis even in his sleep (no pun intended). 

"Are you alright Louis? Can you breathe?" Liam takes the nearest pie standing on the edge of a table that threatens to fall and shows an enormous piece into his mouth. Louis would be kinda impress if he weren't so mad he sees white. 

"Yeah you know I'm fucking fine. Woke up at 6 fucking am just to be fuck-"

"AND STOP FUCKING SWEARING!!!" roars Liam and second after his eyes go wide and his hand shoots up to cover his mouth. 

Oh wow. 

Louis is fairly sure they make quite a picture now. Their jaws are basically touching the ground. 

"I'm so sorry. I got carried away." Liam says like the nicest person he is. He looks very troubled and who is Louis to torture him further so he just grabs two of the pies, makes his dangerous friend promise to clean up the kitchen and bake like a normal person (he's not sure if it'll work out but he's pretty sure Liam will find another dubious activity to carry on) and then he leaves for work. 

 

            ...........................................

 

If Louis thought Liam was dangerous friend than there was a surprise waiting for him. 

He comes from work and the first thing he sees when he steps into their flat is approaching jolly face in which dominates slightly red eyes and then he's enveloped in a bone crashing embrace. He would never admit it aloud but Irish hugs freaking hurt. 

"Hello kitten, you look hot tonight," Niall seductively purrs into his ear and drapes one arm around Louis's neck. Or at least he tries. 

"The fuck Niall!" Louis pushes him off and somewhere from the inside of their flat can be very very faintly heard "no swearing in my house".

"C'mon, baby don't be difficult. We have a whole night just for ourselves." Niall continues his drunk speech and Louis hears muffled laughter and whispers. 

"I happily beg to differ." 

Louis makes his way into their living room where he finds his friends sitting on a floor. He notices half-eaten pies all over the place and a few bottles of Captain Morgan, whiskey and Coca Cola. 

"Let him have a little fun Tommo," smirks Zayn from his Buddha position (or what the hell is that supposed to be) with his legs folded in front of him. He somehow even menaged to tangle somewhere in between an empty bottle. 

"It's not fun for me." 

"Niall needs to learn how to chat up a girl," Liam slurs. 

"Niall needs to finally break his wallsss," agrees Zayn happily and flicks his arm to prove his point. 

"Niall wants to get laid," Niall whispers somewhere near his ear again and okay. 

"Alright mate, your major was psychology so I'm pretty sure you know what comfort zone means right?" Louis stumbles two steps backwards when Niall's vodka-cola-pie death breath hits him in the face. "Besides you're not my type." 

"But you've got such a hot big girly ass. Just like JLo maybe even better." 

"It's not girly."

"It is." 

"Is not. It's very manly." 

"Remember that one time the club when that guy thought you were a gir-"

"Alright, alright!" Louis snaps and quickly averts attention because that was just a humiliating and very unpleasant experience for Louis and there is no need to remind it. "I'm going for beer. That is for tough men not apple pies." He leaves with dignity. 

The three boys wait in a silence. It doesn't take long and there's a high pitched shriek coming from the kitchen. A few moments later Louis stands at the door with shocked horrified expression. 

"Why is there a dead policeman lying on our kitchen table?!?"


End file.
